Love is Never Forgotten
by meaganl124
Summary: After a terrible incident, with a following death. Clare falls into a state of helplessness. As she falls into her depression, she is haunted by memories at every turn. Will her attempt to block out that traumatic night work? Or will she crumble from it?
1. Distant Already, But Never Foggy

I look at the gravestone in front of me and the wind blows fiercely for a June day. The sun shining through the trees doesn't touch me, as I sit in the shade of the tree's many branches. The warm late spring/early summer air floats around me; the forest green grass…the cute little yellow, pink, and white flowers are scattered around me. He would've liked this kind of day. We could've been hanging out or making-out…anything would be better then this. I clutch the grass and bring it up to my face. Green. So green. I sigh and lay my cheek against the cold, hard stone and tears roll down my cheeks.

"Beloved husband," is all I can read before I start to sob.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. We should've been laying by the abandoned church, on top of Morty- like we had done multiple times, before our first and only breakup, and when we becoming friends again, and when we got back together. We should've been at his house, having his mother fit his blue graduation gown, and me laughing as he frowned at having to wear a color other then red, black, or gray.

But that could never happen now. My hand grazes the engraved words and my hearts breaks even more.

All I know, is that I'll never love anyone else like him again.


	2. KC and Jenna

K.C…he was not in any way my first love. My first boyfriend- yes. First kiss- yes. But love? First _time_? Not in any shape or form.

I remember it so well. After…K.C had come up to me. My mom hadn't forced me to come to school, she understood how much this was hurting me, but I forced myself to.

It was over the weekend it happened, on a Friday night, and on Monday I walked back into the school- the bane of existence…well, one of them anyway, and looked down at the ground. I followed the floor and my feet until I reached the hall with my locker. As I stood by the garbage can that he had dug through over a year ago, I remembered his locker was 2 down from mine. So I spun away and hurried to my first class.

Everywhere I went- his memory haunted me.

I sprinted down the hall…here we had been holding hands and Adam had come up behind us, frightening us for a second. I shook my head and ran straight into none other then K.C.

"Clare!" He held me up, so his weight wouldn't knock me to the ground. "Are you okay?"

That question, I hated it. Did I look okay?

He saw I wasn't looking up at him, just at our feet. He continued, to stop the silence that would be most incredibly awkward.

"I heard…about-"

"Stop." I said suddenly, my glistening eyes following up to meet his. Broken meets woe.

"I'm sorry Clare. Really. I know we haven't really spoken since…"

The Jenna Thing. I know. It was two years ago. I'm over it. Really. I found real love, K.C. I'm not mad. I was glad for a time. Jenna taking you was really a good thing for me. If I'd stayed with you, I'd have never have been with…I swallowed. His name was too painful to say, or even think.

Suddenly, all the breath was pushed out of my windpipes as K.C crushed himself to me, in a bear-gripping embrace.

"I love you Clare…you're my first girlfriend…I care so much about you…and it kills me to see you like this…they'll find him…I promise. We're all here for you."

"K.C." I gasped. He still loved me? A sister obviously…but…that lightened the load slightly. Barely though.

I wasn't functioning at all. In shock I guess. The funeral was supposed to be that Wednesday, and a memorial presentation was being held on Friday during school.

I didn't see why though. Most of the students would either not know who he was- or judged him because of his reputation. They didn't know him the way I did. Not even Alli- who hadn't understood when I'd tried to explain he was scared of losing me last year. She had- in blunt words- basically told me to rip out his heart, stomp on it, and laugh. She'd tricked my mind into believing he was manipulating me. Stop, Clare. Don't. Go. To. That. Day. Either.

I didn't hug him back. I stood there awkwardly.

I heard Jenna's bubbly tone ring out, "Clare-bear!"

Joyous.

Sure, we had become friends again, but I could only imagine what was about to go down.

"I'm so sorry sweetie. He'll be missed dearly- even if I only ever really saw him up close before the Vegas Night dance last year."

K.C had let me go, and I'd stumbled in Jenna's arms. She held me close.

"If there's anything Alli or I can do- we will. We have to go shopping or see a movie or something, anything."

"_You mean cancel our movie date?" _A voice rung out in my head…stupid "breather." If only I'd known how limited our time would end up being.

"Um, sure Jenna…I guess…I'm not really up to it right now…but eventually…yeah…" I needed to change the subject. "How's the baby doing?"

"She's doing great! Our little girl is 15 months old…can you believe it?" K.C and Jenna embraced and I looked away for the moment.

Even Jenna, when she did the wrong things, ended up happy.

"Great to hear that." I forced a smile and a laugh, and spoke with fake-enthusiasm. But anyone could see how I really felt when they looked at my blue eyes. The bell rang. Perfect. "I have to go now. But it's great to know I have people to help." But I still felt alone.

And I rushed to English.


	3. Adam is English for Caring In My Mind

I ran into the class, breathless.

Everyone was looking at me. Pity and fake-smiles written across their faces.

Ms. Dawes looked up and almost gave a lecture- but saw…it was me.

"Clare. Glad to see you here today." She wasn't really. Just a fake line for- I can't believe you have the guts to come back at this state.

I sat in my seat and tried not to look in back of me, at the empty seat.

Adam, sitting next to me looked over to me and smiled weakly.

How could he? At this time? He had to be in as much pain as me…he had to…

Ms. Dawes paired each of us up and as she called Adam's name, as well as mine, she smiled sadly. She mouthed for us to see her at the end of class.

We moved our desks together.

"Hey…Clare…how…how are things?" Adam searched for the right words.

"It's…going." It took forever to manage those words.

"Look." Adam pulled in closer, like _he_ had done when he confronted me about telling his dad about the gun.

I swallowed.

"He was my friend too. And it's not right what happened. But we have to keep functioning- and Clare- you're barely-"

"YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW!" I shot up out my seat. And the class gaped at me. I gave a pleading look to Ms. Dawes and she nodded.

I pulled Adam out of his seat and pulled him by the arm out into the hall.

"I _**loved**_ him Adam. This is how you felt losing Fiona, but 1000x worse. Because I have to go through the_ rest_ of my _life,_ knowing he will never be around the corner, or even halfway across the world- like Darcy. I finally understand. How he felt losing Julia. It's a miracle I haven't cracked yet!"

Adam opened his mouth to protest, but closed it again.

"Okay, I have cracked…but…it's too hard…" I sobbed, and my knees wobbled. Adam caught me as I fell forward..

"Clare…Clare…it's okay. We all miss him." He soothed.

"But…but…why him? We had so much planned! And I wasted precious time apart from him! It's my fault…and I watched him die. Watched him die, Adam. He didn't see Julia die. I saw him though. I don't understand. Why did this have to happen to him! He was going to be an author and we were going to live together, and have kids one day and…and…"

"Clare. I loved him too. But he wouldn't want you to mourn over him like this."

I pulled away. "THAT WAS HIS PROBLEM! He always seemed to feel like he wasn't good enough for me!"

"Clare- I didn't mean it like that."

"Adam…you don't get it. I understand. If he were here, he'd be telling me to stop crying and he'd kiss me…then…" I started to dream about the possibilities that the former Saint Clare could've done. Yes. I lost my virginity to him. And that's how I know I wanted to be with him forever.

"Clare…okay. First, GROSS. Second, he would. But your life doesn't revolve around him. You still have Alli, Jenna, K.C, your parents, and me- on top of that- most of the student body."

I wiped away my tears, back to depressed state.

"Have you decided what pictures and clips we're going to use yet in the presentation video?" I whispered, hoarse.

"Clare, I was hoping we could do that together. As the misfits again…our third misfit is still around- in spirit- in here." He pointed to his chest, or his heart.

"Fine…"

"Clare, I know this is soon and all- but do you want to go and clean out his locker?"

"I can't do that. I can't even go near my locker without feeling weak and hopeless. It's too soon."

"I get it…whenever you're ready to."

I thought of his locker. How it had been so messy, and I'd cleaned it out once, only to discover he was a hoarder.

"_Please, just kill me. Just get away, just kill me."_

"_No, Eli, Eli, you have to calm down. Calm down, calm down-"_

"_I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!"_

I shut my eyes. No. Block it out, Clare. Block it.

Adam was still standing there.

"Clare…you okay?"

"No…but we better get back." I said honestly, in a monotone.

"If you're sure."

He opened the door, and I walked back in, my eyes low. But I still could see all the students looking at me with sadness.

English seemed to last forever, but when the bell rang, everyone cleared out, except for Adam and me.

"Clare, Adam, I understand that this past weekend we all faced a terrible tragedy and that it's been tough on your guys. Please understand, under these circumstances, especially you Clare, since you _found_ him…"

I didn't just find his Ms. Dawes. I was there. And it's my fault.

"…you can use that excuse to skip out on work and school for a few days." she winked, trying to be funny. We didn't make any emotion. "Alright, but- since we're doing a film project…I won't make you do one." She waited for the thanks that never came. "The presentation at the memorial will be your grade. Once again, I'm sorry. I'll go to the funeral for sure. And Clare," she called, as we were almost out the door. I turned to her. "Hang in there. Everything seems like it's life or death right now, but give it time. Time heals everything."

I never did. Not to this day. Not really.


	4. Alli, Alli, Alli

_**REVIEW! Please! I'll update even faster. =)**_

…...

I walked out of class with Adam and Alli ran over. "Clare!" she squealed.

I wasn't in the mood.

"Clare- what is wrong with you?" she demanded. Then remembered, when Adam glared at her. "Oh honey, I forgot…I'm so sorry. We're going to go to the Dot after school. My treat. Just us. You need to have a bit of fun again."

"I guess."

"I guess? I guess? Is that all? Clare, I was right all along. Even when he's dead as a doornail, you're still hung up on him. He's been manipulating you this whole time." she shook her head in pity.

Adam looked at her, his eyes-wide. He took a step closer, but I stopped him.

"No Alli. He never did. You did. And why shouldn't I be? I mean, Drew is still alive, and it's been over a year, and you're still hung up on him! Why can't I still mourn about the guy I loved, who I watched die in my arms! Who was protecting me, he basically gave his life for me. You know why?"

She cringed.

"Because Eli Goldsworthy loved me. He was in love with me. And I'm not you Alli. Stop thinking that we wouldn't have been together forever. You don't know anything about him. And I don't think I will be going to the Dot with you. I'll go with Adam, or Jenna, K.C- maybe all three. As long as you're not there. Because you don't understand how I feel."

"Clare, I'm only trying to help. But fine, when you get over this psycho, illogical, grieving person that's replaced my best friend, call me." She spun on her heel and walked away.

"I'm not crazy!" I called after her.

My reasoning was perfectly okay.

"C'mon Adam."

"Where are we going?"

"We're going to invite Jenna, K.C, and Drew to come to the Dot with us."

"Oh…okay."

And we went off, as Adam texted Drew, as I Jenna. And K.C got the info from the two of them.

After 5th period, it was settled. The 5 of us would be going to the Dot after school to hang out.

Hopefully, Alli would be there. And she'd see Drew, and well…this was going to be good.

…...

_**Yeah…Clare's going off the deep end…but she has really good reasoning for it. So, review please! I never get a lot of reviews on my stories…I guess mostly because I never ask them to. But I am now…so please review, favorite, alert, whatever's good.**_


	5. FitzyBoi is Back

We walked into the Dot and grabbed a round table, pulling up an extra chair for Drew. We sat down, and we were all smiling, except me. I was trying desperately to fake one- but there was a reason I was backstage in freshman and sophomore year. I remember Eli did drama with me, so did Adam.

"Clare?"

Adam waved his hand in front of my face.

"You look how Drew did when he got high." K.C and Adam grimaced.

"Hey! It was not like that!" Drew argued, laughing.

"Dude, _"Is it thirsty in here?' _C'mon. You're not fooling anyone." K.C mimicked, and then laughed, everyone else joining in but Adam. The others started to talk about Jenna and K.C's baby. I only listened faintly, as my mind drifted away from babysitters for the afternoon and caring for a human being…

"Clare? What are thinking about?"

"The play." I frowned.

"Oh no." He frowned.

"_Women are trouble." "Even me?" "Especially you." "I want that, what you guys have."_

"_I'm dragging Eli to the lover's luncheon today. You should come with."_

"_You liiikeee her." "Stop it." "…You Lovvveee her."_

I hadn't noticed I'd started to convulse, until I was forcefully brought back to reality, and heard everyone saying my name at once.

"Clare!" Adam jumped out from his chair and ran to me. I was trembling now, tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

"It's alright Clare. I'm here. I'm right here. No one's going to hurt you." He pulled me against him and I grasped his shirt, fighting back wracking sobs. I started to calm down a bit, realizing how stupid I must look. Adam pulled back. "You okay?"

"_Get away from her…you okay?"_ _"Yes, I'm fine, Fitz and I were just talking for a minute."_

I hated it. I should've listened to Eli, shouldn't have protested. Fitz coming back was the beginning of our downward spiral.

I looked up and Alli enter, and I shooed Adam away to his seat, and I wiped my eyes stealthily and put on a nice, perfect smile. As if I was having the time of my life.

Alli narrowed her eyes at me, and then she saw who was with me.

She started to make her way over to me, but decided against yelling at me when Drew, as well as everyone else was around. She frowned and then marched right back out of the Dot. Pausing by the window closest to us, looking doubtful, then continuing along the sidewalk.

Mission accomplished. I never acted this way. But I'm sure it was just my grief overriding my thoughts and emotions. She had crossed the line. No one could dare mock Eli and get away with it. Not if they said it to me or Adam, or our friends either.

I looked up, and saw **him.** I'd forgotten he worked at the Dot! Stupid, stupid, stupid.

His face flashed in my head, and I was brought back to the brightness of the street, then being yanked into the alleyway next to the restaurant, and him ripping off my clothes, snarling, cursing off from me to the world. No. I couldn't go there. I couldn't relive that night. Not now. Not ever.

I had frozen. A statue in time, gaping at the guy who ruined it all.

"Clare? What are you staring-" Jenna twisted around in her seat to see who it was.

"Fitz?" K.C. asked quizzically.

Adam pulled his hands into fists. But even he didn't know.

No one knew. Only me. I hadn't told the police, the doctors, the school, my parents…anyone.

That evil smile penetrated me as he saw me looking at him and he waved.

But it wasn't over yet.

As soon as he delivered the coffee to the table he was waiting on, he came over to us, pen and paper waiting.

"Hello Jenna, K.C, Drew, Adam…Clare." He seemed exceptionally bright when he said my name. I could've sworn I saw him wink.

"What can I get you guys?"

While everyone ordered, I knew I should've said something witty like, I'm going to report you, or that I know who he really is.

But I didn't. I was a rabbit, hiding in plain sight, in front of the wolf. And my brave knight wasn't there to protect the little creature of nature anymore.

"Clare- what can I get you?"

"My Eli back." I whispered, almost inaudible.

He heard, but no one else did.

He brushed it off.

"Clare? Didn't catch what you said."

"You know you did." I looked up, my eyes screaming bloody murder.

"Clare- he didn't. Just tell him what you want."

I flipped my head to the side.

"Drew, he knows what I really want." Then I turned to Fitz. "You know I would like some fries and a chocolate mocha." I smiled to him, and Fitz seemed pale for a second, then smiled. I swear to God, if he dared misinterpret my body language as to wanting him- I would call the cops this time.

"Gotcha. I'll be back." And he practically ran away. So the wolf runs from the rabbit.

But, it still didn't affect my feelings at all.

"Was that Fitz?" Jenna turned to me.

Adam nodded for me. "Didn't you say he turned good Clare, what was with all the nastiness?"

I wanted to so bad tell Adam. If there's anyone I should tell, it was Adam. My throat burned. But instead I made up an excuse.

"I guess my grief is just…getting the best of me." I tried to make it seem innocent and sad.

I guess it worked, as they didn't push for more answers. Fitz came back with our orders and his hands lingered on my coffee, so I'd have to touch his hand to get it.

I was hesitant, but reached up and took it. I guess he felt sparks of electricity, while I felt gross and dirty. I quickly grabbed it from him and muttered a thanks, and then ignored his existence.

"_All of it's real…" _Yeah right. _"Just like my feelings for you Clare."_

"_Okay…but…I love Eli, and Eli loves me."_

"_Eli doesn't love anyone, he's a seriously messed up dude."_

"_Excuse me! This coming from the guy that pulled a knife on him!"_

"_What I did was wrong…but I've changed. Eli never will, and you know that." _Nope sorry, 'fraid I don't. And you haven't. Eli did. He tried to hard to please me. He'd do whatever he had to do to himself to help me. Like crash Morty.

No. Clare, stop it. But the memories kept flowing. _"Me and you…we have a spiritual connection."_

… "_What are you saying- that I'm some heartless monster?" "Sometimes!" _I regretted that fight so much.

"_I deserve it…I just feel like you're slipping away…and I can't stop it…don't leave me okay. Promise me." _Too bad I never made you promise the same, I thought, thinking of him. And you didn't deserve any of this.

I sipped my coffee nonchalantly, pretending to listen to the conversation, acting like my wreck of mind wasn't in full chaos right now.

"_Every time I try to throw out something, I feel like I'm going to die…or…or someone else is…someone I love…I want you not to give up on me…you're the only thing that makes me feel like…I could ever get better." _I never will give up on you, I shut my eyes for an instant.

"_I'm losing…everything I love."_

"_Not me…I'm not going anywhere." _But he did. He left me forever.

I hated myself. So much.

"_I love Clare Edwards!" _I had reacted in a scared manner.

"_I love you, and I know you love me."_

If only you knew how much, I whispered in my head. If only. I should've never responded with what I did when you told me that…

I picked at my small order of fries. At the bottom was a note. I, curious, picked up the greasy, small paper and unfolded it.

"Hope you enjoy these fries, as much as…" The rest of smeared from all the heat and moisture from sitting at the bottom of the little plate for nearly half an hour. But I knew what it said anyway. And I knew it was from Fitz.

Anger consumed me and I crumpled the note, ripped it to shreds and marched over to Fitz.

"Don't you ever come near me again!" I yelled as I threw the remains of the paper at him.

I could've sworn I heard him whisper as I walked away, "But Eli's not around to protect you anymore."

I shivered, and ran out of the restaurant joint.


	6. Hauntings and Happy Times

I ran out onto the streets of Toronto. I tried to breathe in deeply to calm myself, but I couldn't. It was too hard to make a breath; As if I were choking or something.

I couldn't believe I had run into him. How could I be so ignorant? How could I leave myself in the open like that!

I shuddered.

The rest my friends had stared after me, then Drew threw some money on the table, and they all ran out after me- after glowering at Fitz as they passed.

"Clare!" Drew called. They all screamed my name, and I broke out into a run.

I wanted to change my name- to never have gone to Degrassi- to never have put Eli in that situation last Friday night- to not exist.

Why was Drew calling for me. We weren't exactly the best of friends- but I'd wanted him to come to make Alli mad and to have someone else there to be talk to- even if I wasn't talking all that much lately- only when angry.

I ran, and then got the dumb, stupid idea to jump in front of a car.

I ran into the road and then I saw Jenna and K.C stand there in shock as I ran into the busy road.

The Torres brothers kept running.

Adam was screaming at me, tears filling his eyes. He couldn't lose his other best friend. Not in a 4 day span.

Drew was calling my name. Then Drew, being the athlete, ran ahead of Adam and jumped out into the road.

I was pushed onto the sidewalk and I felt him on top of me.

"What was that?" he exclaimed in my ear.

"GET OFF!" I screamed, crying now, like a little two-year old. I didn't want to be touched.

He got off of me and pulled me up.

"Clare- what is going on with you?" he asked.

"Nothing. I'm so empty inside."

Before Drew could reply, everyone else rushed across the crosswalk and hugged me.

"You're alive." Jenna breathed. K.C stood there, shock written across his face.

The Clare he knew would have never done something so impulsive in her life!

But that Clare was long gone, dead, with Eli.

Drew looked worried, and then Adam happened.

He marched over to me. "Clare! I can't believe you! Why did you do that? Trying to get yourself killed? Did you even think what could've happened if Drew had gotten there a second later? Eli wouldn't want this! I loved him too Clare! Let it go!"

The person who was so considerate and knew how I felt- was suddenly gone.

"Adam. Stop. You don't mean what you're saying." Drew reached over to his brother.

Adam snarled and stomped off.

Two friends and one love gone in less than a week, along with my sanity. Great.

Drew turned to me. "Clare- you need to see someone…someone who can help you get you back on the right track. This incident proved something is wrong…and I wish we could understand…we've lost people close to us too-"

"Bet you all haven't been as close to someone as I am…was…to Eli."

"Maybe so Clare but-" Jenna interrupted.

"I'm sorry. Nothing is wrong. I'm just impulsive today. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here today…bye…" And I rushed away.

No one told anyone about the car incident on Monday.

But it didn't stop there. I tried my hardest in all my subjects, which were all of a sudden so hard- and I started to get D's and F's…

Ms. Dawes beckoned me over to her desk a week later.

"Clare…" she folded her hands together on her desk. "You need to personalize your writing again…it's so distant…and I know you can do better."

"But I can't." I told her.

"Clare- I really do wish you weren't going through this right now…but the fact of the matter is- you need to pass. I mean- you're going into junior year anyway- since we had finals…the week…of…the accident…but…I hate to see you like this. You're trying, but you can't find your heart anymore. But, Eli didn't take it when he left you. It's still there- you're still here, your heart will keep beating. I want you to take it easy for a few days."

I had no answer. I stayed quiet.

My mind was on the funeral. I hated it. I wore black clothing and hadn't smiled at the irony that morning- we'd all be in black- Eli started a trend! But it wasn't particularly funny today. I put on my cross necklace and my heels and walked out the door- almost hoping to see Morty. But Morty was long gone. He sat nowadays in the Goldsworthy's' garage- alone. I hadn't seen the Goldsworthy's at all over that weekend- except on Friday, waiting in the hospital all night, and then Saturday when we all took turns seeing Eli in his comatose state, and then Saturday night, when we all said our goodbyes, after they came out to told us he had passed.

As I walked into the memorial service, I realized all the small whispers had quieted, as nearly 90 people turned their heads to see me walk into the building. I blushed and ran up the aisle to the front row and sat down.

It was utterly boring, but I knew I was supposed to make a small speech.

CeCe introduced me and I walked up. She hugged me tightly, and let me go after an instant. I smoothed my dress and went up in front of everyone. And started to speak.

"Eli Goldsworthy…some of you…may not have been fans of him, or your parents made you attend his funeral…or some of you- most- are here…because we cared. I loved Eli…with all my heart. He was my best friend. He was witty, smart, talented, cute…point is- I was in love with him. And even if he's gone- he isn't really. Cause he'll always be around me…I'm sorry…my speech is lame…but there are really no words to describe our relationship…and even now- I'm breaking down." I acknowledged the tears sliding slowly and carefree down my cheeks.

Bullfrog ran up and saved me.

"Thank you, Clare. It means so much to all of us for you to try to speak up. Now…if you'll follow us, we'll follow out to the cemetery and say our last goodbyes."

Everyone else filed out, but Eli's parents and I followed after the casket.

I looked at the smooth, shining wood and felt a pang of anger.

I hated this. I hated pretending everything was okay. I could only have told Eli how I was really feeling- and he'd understand, but he was gone. And it was because of me. As the casket was lowered into the ground, I glanced at the headstone, before watching the casket being covered with dirt.

It read- "Elijah Goldsworthy, 1994-June 17th 2012. Beloved husband, son, and friend. R.I.P.

Yes. You read right. Husband. Not Boyfriend.

Funny story actually.

Eli, about a month before the accident, had gotten this look in his eyes during one of our dates.

We were outside the abandoned church and he pulled me close and said seriously, "Clare, I feel like something terrible is going to happen soon. And I feel it has to do with Fitz."

At the time, I'd scoffed and laughed. Now I saw it as a vision.

Eli had continued. "We know we love eachother. That we want to be together forever. You already gave up your purity ring for me- but I'm going to put a new ring on your finger…if you'll let me." He pulled out a ring. A beautiful diamond ring.

"Oh Eli." I gasped. He wasn't…I was 16!

"Marry me." he whispered, desperate and hopeful.

A moment passed. I was too young…but I loved him…but…what would my parents say?

I decided I didn't care- I knew what I wanted- for the rest of my life.

"Yes!" I exclaimed.

"Yes? Yes!" He picked me up and spun me around and then kissed me hard, after sliding the ring on my finger.

Of course, our parents already knew…Why? How he'd gotten my parents to go along with it…I didn't know- and I don't want to know to this day- it would ruin the magic.

But we didn't have a fancy wedding- we figured we'd have that fancy wedding in a few years-as something special- for our anniversary or something- so we went to city hall- filled out the paperwork and when we left- we were Mr. and Mrs. Eli Goldsworthy. And we had no regrets.

Besides family- no one really knew…Adam thought the headstone was a mistake, and everyone else was confused.

I know it sounds corny and lame- but young love does that to a person. And it was actually one of the best days of my life.

At the memorial presentation at school- I remember playing around with my perfect fitting wedding band a lot. The match for my ring was now 6 feet underground, on his finger, along with all the skull rings and he wore his guitar pick necklace…

I missed him. And I still hadn't realized what my issue was. But my friends were starting to realize I was in a depression, as did my teachers- such as Ms. Dawes. My parents were catching on…I don't know who I was fooling…besides myself.


	7. A Dream Too Far Gone

That Monday night, I had a dream. And it had to be the best dream I ever had.

In it, I was with Eli- and we were in a perfect little world.

There was a grassy meadow in which we were laying down in, flowers around us, and tall grass waving in the cool breeze.

The sun streamed down on us, but it didn't hurt our eyes. We pointed to the sky with our free hands- as our other hands were intertwined, the wedding bands seemed to rattle a bit, loose.

I smiled to myself.

"Look- it's a heart!" I giggled, as I pointed up to the fluffy cloud.

He turned his head to the left, so our heads touched.

"Where?" he frowned.

There-" I started to show him, then frowned. "It broke in half…" A broken heart. Like mine.

Eli, who had been using his thumb to rub my hand, looked at me sadly.

"Eli, it's not fair. You do love me right?" I sat up.

"Clare- you know I do, more then anything." He sat up suddenly too.

"Then, why'd you have to go and leave me? I can only see in my dreams now."

"Clare…" he started. "I never wanted too…but Death didn't give me a choice."

"Death? Really Eli?"

I pulled my hand away, and stood up.

"Yes Clare…"

"Anymore fun news you've learned in the past few days?"

"Well…you may not like it." he admitted.

"Spit it out Goldsworthy."

"Hey! You're a Goldsworthy too!" he pointed out.

Oh stop changing the subject!"

"What? I did nothing of the sort!" he mocked hurt.

"Elijah." I growled.

He shut his eyes. "Clare…you talk about how when we die…we'll be together forever…but we never will be."

"What? What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"You should apologize to Adam…you need eachother." he avoided the question.

I made a mental note to go and apologize to Adam, but I stared him down until he continued.

"I'm an atheist; I don't believe in God or anything- so I will not go to heaven or hell- I'm in limbo, I'm earthbound forever. But you- you're Christian- you will go to heaven- and we will never see eachother again."

"What? No! This is some kind of sick joke! Please tell me it is. I can't…Eli…please…" I grabbed his shirt and tears blurred my once-bright eyes.

"I hate it too. The girl I love- I won't be able to spend eternity with. The only thing I thought could come good of my death someday."

"No…" I hated this. He enclosed me in is arms. He lifted my chin up and kissed me, soft and sweet.

"But you'll go on Clare- you'll find another guy- whether he's Jewish, or Muslim, Christian- it doesn't matter- and you'll forget about me." he whispered sadly.

"Never Eli, you're not my first love. You're my only one. In true love there's obstacles…this is only one…but…I'll convert to atheism…I don't know…all I know is that I wanna be with you." I snuggled into his arms- I'd grown to miss having around me- my safe barrier.

Then, I thought of something.

"Is Julia…around you?"

He looked at me for a long time, his perfect emerald eyes burning.

"Yes. But it's about you Clare. Only about you. I'll never go back to her."

Eli, I believe you…I finally understand how you felt…when you lost Julia. I hate how you lost your life for me…I understand you couldn't save Julia, and felt like you had to protect me…but…if you hadn't interfered, I'd be in your arms, and Id be going to a therapist, just like you, and Fitz would be in jail."

His eyes darkened at his name.

"As a spirit, I can see what goes on in the world- as I'm earthbound. When you think I'm not there, I'm really an inch away. I can hear what people think, if I listen hard enough. And I've not stopped watching you. I haven't looked at how my parents are coping, unless you go and see. And today, that killed me. It kills me **even more**, to see you hurting so much over me. I love you so much- but you need to forget about me."

"No! I won't. I'll do anything I have to make sure I'll be with you again someday, I promise." I said firmly, and he cupped my head with his hands, our foreheads touching.

"Don't ever go near Fitz again. I heard what he was thinking…and he feels like he's going to get away with it- and be you're next boyfriend or something…I can't stand what he pictures…I want to kill him, for even thinking about you. If he hurts you again…" he swallowed.

Tears flowed freely down our cheeks now. "I'll make it justified. I'll…I'll…I'll…report him…I'll kill him…I want it to be justified for you."

"Actually Clare…I remembered something…if by the end of the last day of June of this year, meaning in 3 weeks, if you justify my death…I can actually join you…in heaven…or our own heaven…I don't know…but I want you again Clare…I love you."

"I know…I love you too…so much."

We kissed and fell back down into the grass.

Then I woke up.

Tears fell down my cheeks. I felt the empty space next to my bed, but I knew Eli was here. In my room, someplace.

"I'm going to do whatever it takes, Eli. I love you…for eternity."

And I hopped out of my covers and began to plot for the future…even if it was futile…even with my new mental illness…I felt better for that instant…one moment…since his death.


	8. Memorial Lane

The next morning, I rushed over to Adam's house and hesitantly knocked on the door.

"Oh God, why the hell are you-" Bianca opened the door, with Drew right behind her. "Edwards," she gasped.

"Clare, come in. Adam's still sleeping…he's been sleeping in a lot lately…" Drew looked like he was divulging a secret he wasn't allowed to say…but I knew he meant since Eli died, Adam hasn't been the same. And everyone sure as hell knew I wasn't.

"Clare…I'm so sorry." Bianca gushed. "I mean…I hung out with him once…he was a cool guy. I'm sorry he's gone." She said sincerely.

"When did you-" I started, then shook my head. The Dead Hand concert. Eli had kept those drumsticks in his "prized-possession" pile when we were cleaning his room.

His room. I had gone back with the Goldsworthy's after the funeral to their house for all that little stuff like tea or whatever. When everyone was downstairs mourning, I snuck upstairs and stood in the green hall for what seemed like forever, just staring at that lock on his door.

Should I open it? Had his parents gone in? Would they want him to have been the last person in there? I subconsciously put in Julia's death date for the lock and it didn't open.

I tugged and tried again. Nothing. Then I tried our birthdays- his, then mine. Just as I was about to give up, I thought of something else.

I put in our wedding day, and the lock made a small click, then opened wide, into his now-clean room…mostly- as there was still some junk in places and still boxes everywhere, holding all the sorted junk. I saw Julia's picture, but Eli and I's picture at the church was in front of it. The curtains were drawn, but that extra white curtain that lets only half of the light through still covered the window- setting the mood perfectly. His room was the same, but now I was in every corner- in pictures, or in simple memories of his. I stepped into the room, feeling like an uninvited guest for only a second, before I felt like I needed to be here…like Eli was here.

I walked over to his bed and smiled.

"_What is it? Four stars?"_

"_It will be…once it's ready…and so are you."_

"_Maybe someday." Epic kiss.'\_

I crawled onto the bed and lay down, putting my hands under my head and closed my eyes, feeling the presence of him and not him at the same time. I slept.

I felt like Eli crawled onto the bed too, and wrapped his arms around my waist and watched me sleep as well.

"Clare?"

Adam had crept past the room, but he did not dare trespass into the room itself, he stood in the doorway. He saw me sleeping, the light hitting my face in a certain way and he smiled weakly.

"I wish Eli could see how beautiful you look right now." He'd whispered, shaking his head, and smiled softly. He exited the room and left me to my peace.

I came back to the present when Drew said, "Go on up." He pointed to the stairs.

I nodded and went up, the pair silent as they watched- I felt shame. Drew had saved my life, and I said nothing to him.

I crept into Adam's room. He was still sleeping, and all the dark circles under his eyes were gone.

I smiled and crept over to his bed. "Adam." I shook him gently and I sat down on the edge of his bed.

His eyes snapped open and he saw me.

"Clare?" he rubbed his eyes in disbelief.

"I'm sorry. Let's get to work on that memorial service presentation." The service was tomorrow.

"Okay. Let's do this." He climbed out of bed and got "decent" before we went on his laptop and opened up a file of just Eli and others.

There were tons of stuff. Eli and I in our best moments, a video of us making out and Adam complaining- the one he had turned into a project once- The Life of a Third Wheel- that's what he'd called it. There were pictures of Eli and his horror story as well as us three misfits and him, on top of other beautiful and painful memories. After we'd put it together, and added a soundtrack, it was 2:00. We submitted it to Mr. Simpson who soon sent us back a reply saying how beautiful it was- and how it was more moving then J.T Yorke's memorial video- if that was possible.

The actual memorial service was sad. Everyone was in tears, even if Eli had never been popular and kept to himself. I didn't break down until I saw a video. I thought we'd only had the one video…but in front of me was another. In it, Eli and I were stargazing, on top of Morty, and we heard the crickets' and saw fireflies around us. We pointed out constellations and by the end, we looked at eachother and leaned in closer before you heard Adam shriek, "ENOUGH!"

We, shocked, pulled apart and looked to Adam aggravated.

Adam flipped the camera around to him to say, "They are so cutesy…it's disgusting." Then you heard me yell, "Hey! Offense!"

And Eli snickered, "You jealous?" in a funny tone, that made us all start laughing.

"Love you Eli." I whispered, pressing my forehead to his.

"Love you too."

"And we all love Adam! And Adam wuvs you too." Adam said behind the camera. And the movie ended. I started to sob, and I put my hand to my mouth to muffle it. I had no idea. I'd forgotten that clip even existed.

Everyone else was smiling through their tears and I ran out of the auditorium. It was too hard. Alli ran after me.

"Clare!" she called. "Wait up."

She grabbed my arm.

"I'm sorry." she said, and I collapsed into her arms.

"I'm losing…everything I love."

"Not me." Alli said. "I'm not going anywhere. And neither is anyone else."

I remembered Eli saying practically those exact words.

"C'mon. Let's go to the Dot. My treat." And we skipped out on the remainder of the school day.

We didn't go to the Dot until later, because Alli wanted to change and as much as she wanted me to, I didn't.

Finally, after a hour of trying on different outfits, she was ready. Then Sav held us up, talking about the service and by the time we left for the Dot it was already 5.

"Hey…" I started, eyeing a certain alleyway. "Let's go to Little Miss-Steaks instead."

"Okay." She acted surprised, but we turned on our heel and walked the other way.


	9. Answers, Finally

After picking at my steak and fries for over a hour and a half and barely talking. Alli got fed up.

"Clare, talk to me. I know I've been a terrible friend lately…but…just…let me in!"

"Haven't you heard? I'm not letting anyone in- join the club or Clare rejections." I said absent-mindedly while lifting up a steak fry and examining how huge it was.

"Clare." She slapped the money on the table for our dinner, I looked at her plate- completely spotless. Some one had an appetite at least. "We're going to Above the Dot, and we're going to party, maybe get drunk, and have fun! Unwind a little, be happy!"

"I don't want to." I whined, as she pulled me out of the wooden chair and out the door.

"We're going- you need to learn how to live again. It's like Eli is sucking out the life of you!"

"Oh- so he's manipulating me?" I snapped, ripping my arm away.

"Oh, Clare…stop being stupid."

"Me?" I ran down the street, until I reached the Dot.

Fitz wasn't inside. I ran in and grabbed a stool at the very edge of the counter and asked for an iced tea.

A minute later, the waiter came back with one and I handed him the money.

I drank it and welcomed the cold into my body. I shivered slightly from taking a big gulp in a second, the ice cubes touched my lips.

Alli came in, and I walked out, ignoring her as I walked past her.

She grew flustered and decided to just order a coffee.

I walked out the door, and the familiar chime seemed far-off and distant.

I walked down the sidewalk for a few feet, then I was yanked into they alleyway. This was too familiar- and not in a good sense either.

"I've missed you." He breathed in my ear. "You didn't tell…you must've been waiting for the chance to come back for more."

"I didn't tell, because…I was afraid." I breathed out.

Did Bianca know her friend was a murderer?

"C'mon. This time that loser isn't here to get in the way. You wanted to- and he was getting in the way."

"Fitz! Get off me!" I shoved against him, but I was too weak.

And he pressed me against the brick wall, and the déjà vu started.

"_Edwards, you need to unwind a little. Have your first real time with a man, not a weak emo-boy."_

"_No, Fitz. I can't. I love Eli! What happened to Jesus? Think about him. This is a sin."_

"_But you've sinned," He pointed to my finger, a wedding band was on, in place of the purity ring- but Fitz didn't have to know that. "And if Saint Clare broke her most important rule- what hope is there for me or anyone else?" he shrugged. "I've missed my old ways anyway." He kissed my cheek, as he went for my lips, but I turned my face._

"_Bitch- keep still." He held my head still and kissed my lips with his chapped, dry ones._

_He moved his mouth down my body, to my chest, where my shirt was._

_And he started to rip off my clothes, or he tried. _

_I screamed. _

"_Shut up!" He pushed me, and my head hit the wall. My head was pounding when he pushed me against the wall once more and kissed my lips, and started to reach one hand upwards and one hand downwards. _

_I tried to scream, but his lips moved against mine in a way I found disgusting. Why had Fitz done this? Why was he suddenly his old self? I didn't know. I didn't care- I wanted out._

_And then…he came._

"_Clare!" He came running into the alleyway. He'd went looking for me- when he realized I wasn't showing up for our date. "Get the hell off her!" he pushed Fitz from the side to the ground and he looked at me, cupping my face in his hand._

"_Are you alright?" He asked._

_I shivered and nodded. "Did he hurt you?" he asked._

_I shook my head. "Almost. You saved me." I kissed him quickly. I had to get the feel of Eli's lips on me again, and get rid of Fitz's. _

"_C'mon. Let's get out of here." He started to walk out of the alleyway, with me next to him, when a shot rang out._

_Then, Eli froze and he couldn't speak. He just looked at me and then collapsed. I let out a blood-curdling scream._

"_ELI!" I fell to the ground and ripped off my denim jacket and covered his wound with it, but the blood bled through immediately. _

_He gasped for air, and I felt him trying to talk to me._

"_It's alright Eli. I'm here. I love you. Mr. Goldsworthy- don't you dare leave your wife." I tried to be light-hearted, but it wasn't working._

_He reached up a shaky hand to my face, He twirled a strand of hair with his fingers absent-mindedly and then when I held his hand to my face, he went limp._

_His green eyes were still wide open with fear and pain- but I didn't dare close them. I'd never be able to catch the emotion of his brilliant eyes again. _

_I looked around, Fitz was gone._

"_Help!" I screamed, pulling Eli up to me, hugging his body, and sobs wracking me. _

_Some one passed and called the ambulance and I already knew…before the doctors came out to tell us- he was dead._


	10. Fight for the Gold

I was shoved back into the present when Fitz shoved his lips against mine.

I wouldn't let this happen again. But being depressed- it makes you withdrawn- and I had no strength to speak.

I stood there, and fought pitifully.

"Please." I whimpered.

"Damn, I'm glad Goldsworthy's dead. Now you're all mine- we don't have to hide."

I cringed. He was sick.

"You're sick." I told him. "Sick, you know."

"I don't care- you'll never tell and who'd believe you? A depressed girl trying to bring justice to her boyfriend's mystery death."

I didn't bother to correct him.

I suddenly heard Eli's voice in my head.

"Always fight for love, Clare. I'll always fight for you."

With a surge adrenaline, I shoved Fitz away and slapped him across the face.

I screamed as loud as I possibly could and he covered my mouth. I started to get faint. He covered my nose as well.

Alli, Drew, Adam, Jenna, and K.C ran over. Well Alli ran out from the Dot and the others walked past and the boys started to throw punches at Fitz.

I escaped from Fitz's clutches, tears running down my cheeks and I scampered into my best friends' arms.

Alli grimaced. "I've called the police." And then there were sirens.

Fitz tried to escape, but the 3 guys held him down.

The police came and took Fitz away, and said I'd have to come in for questioning. So I got in Drew's car along with my friends' and followed the police car to the station.

Each one of us was brought into a different room for inquiry.

"How do you know Mark Fitzgerald?" the woman asked.

I launched into a full tale.

"And this rivalry between Eli and Mark…"

I went in depth on that.

"What happened tonight?"

I took a deep breath, and retold the events of the past 3 hours.

She nodded and wrote things down, even though this conversation was being recorded by a cassette player.

Then I said something that would change everything. "Mark Fitzgerald murdered Eli Goldsworthy when Eli saved me from being raped by Fitz."

The room fell silent and I heard her pen dropped.

"That's quite an accusation." she cleared her throat.

"It's true. And I know I'm "depressed." Believe me though, I never lie."

"It's alright sweetie. If we can find proof, or he confesses, he'll be pressed with charges."

"I'm going to press him with charges anyway. He murdered my…boyfriend…and he tried to…" I gulped, my throat getting tight.

"You were going to say husband weren't you?" she leaned in closer.

I widened my eyes.

"I saw the ring." she motioned to my wedding band.

And after a million more questions, I got out of that room.

My friends were all waiting for me.

"Let's go." They came over to me and surrounded me. We walked back out to the car. And everyone told them what had happened in their inquiry- and finally I said,

"I admitted the truth…Fitz…he…"

The girls lifted a hand to their mouth and the guys gasped.

"He…was…the…"Adam struggled to get the words out.

"He did that…and it's all my fault. He was only protecting me…from being…hurt…and…he's dead."

"Shhhh." Everyone soothed.

I could only imagine what would happen next- now that the secret was out.


	11. Restful

I got home and Alli offered to sleepover, as did Jenna.

"It'll be a girls' night!" Jenna smiled, clapping her hands in excitement.

"You need one." Alli stressed to me.

I shook my head. "I need to have some time alone. I don't know what'll happen now. I could end up going to court."

I pictured myself, not as a strong judge or attorney, but a poor victim, in front of the murderer of her beloved and her almost-rapist. I looked small and frail…and I knew I'd lose. There was no proof any of this had happened…or was there? Maybe Fitz was stupid and kept the gun…or he'd confess…or…maybe…he'd escape and try again to hurt me…or run away…

My thoughts drifted from good outcomes to detrimental ones.

I banged my head against my wall lightly and closed my eyes.

Thoughts that clouded my mind went blank…and the faces and memories of my friends flew by in rapid-motion.

From meeting and dancing with K.C, defending Connor against the Shep…when Jenna asked who was "off-limits" and said how cute K.C was…how Alli and I did everything together, to my parents filing for divorce…to Adam and Eli and I all laughing- with Adam draping his arms over Eli's and mine as well- as we had been holding hands…

All those thoughts flooded out until I was left only with thoughts of one thing, and one thing only.

Eli. How I met him, how I opened up to him about my parents fighting…I snapped open my eyes for a second and looked to my bed. I got up and got down on my stomach to reach under and grab a box marked, "Eli."

All the things that I couldn't exactly leave hanging around in my room for everyone to see was in there.

My purity ring was at the bottom, I knew that. A dead-hand shirt I'd slept in the weekend after his death- only about a week ago. His black, leather jacket, his story in that Gothic Tales comic…and then I found what I was looking for. His headphones. I took them out and toyed with them, with an absent-minded smile on my face as I passed it between my two hands. Everything still smelled of him too- all the stuff in the box. I took the headphones with me back to my resting place and put them on, just to cancel all the noises in the world.

"_It's a noise-cancellation. Good for whenever your parents get out of hand…or when you need to ignore an English partner."_

I didn't cry. I welcomed it for the first time in the past few days.

I smiled, even though my eyes were closed.

I didn't hear my mom creep in and look in- seeing me, in that peaceful position, and all of the Eli box stuff scattered on the floor.

She immediately left, like she was intruding on a secret moment.

I remembered him in a good light…mostly.

When he kissed me for the project, and then avoided me…when we finally started going out after the library kiss…Fitz…

I mentally clenched my fists, just thinking about it. Fitz almost killed Eli that night too. That has to count for something, right?

When I found out he was a hoarder, when I found out about Julia, when Fitz came back, when I left Eli after the crash…the memories went hay-wire and I couldn't control it anymore.

I ripped off the headphones and threw them to the side, panting. The pain was unbearable.

Then, I sunk into another world, the world where I visited Eli.

"Hey Blue Eyes." He had himself propped up with one arm, watching me awaken into this world as I fell asleep in the other.

"Hey." I sat up, my curls bouncing.

"What's wrong?" He sat up too, captivated by me.

"I confessed…to pretty much everything…but Fitz could still get off."

"Hey…hey…you still have time before the end of the month. About a week or so. It's gonna be okay."

"But it hasn't…not since you left." I snuggled into his chest, and his arms wrapped around me.

The warmth of him and the sun combined made my stomach flutter.

"You're about to get an answer that will change everything." he whispered.

"Eli? What are you talking about?"

Then the scenery changed and I was back in my room, my cell phone had a ton of missed messages and my home phone was ringing off the hook.

In my frenzy to reach it, I stumbled over the cardboard box and its contents and fell. I pulled myself up and grabbed up the phone.

"'Hello?" I asked nervously.


	12. Justice is Served

"Hello?" I asked, trying to compose myself to sound calm, cool, and collected- as if the last 30 seconds hadn't happened.

"Yes, is this Clare Edwards-I mean Goldsworthy?"

"Yes…Speaking. What is it?"

My heart started to race. Was Eli talking about this phone call? What was so life changing about it?

"Yes, well, you see…Mark Fitzgerald…"

I almost shut my eyes, but I listened with rapt attention, my eyes wide open, and not sure of what to feel. Fear, anger, gratitude?

Had he escaped? Committed suicide? Denied my claim? I needed to know.

"Mark "Fitz" Fitzgerald has confessed to his crimes and will be pressed with the charges of murder and attempted rape."

"Really?"

I asked, growing excited. I felt a thousand strings holding me down, snip away, like a scissor cut through them- the scissor being those words. The best 20 words I'd heard in a while.

"Who is this?" My eyes narrowed for a second- this could be some cruel joke.

"Officer Ceirdes."

The officer who'd asked me all those questions earlier.

"He confessed?"

"Yep- we went to see him and we confronted him only for him to get down on his knees begging for forgiveness and how Jesus was so angry at him and God might never let him into His Kingdom now. He pleaded guilty. He'll be facing a lifetime of prison maybe. You're welcome to come to the trial."

"I think I just might…thank you. Goodnight." I hung up the phone and jumped around. I called up everyone and told them about the call.

"Clare-"

"That's-"

"So-"

"Amazing!"

"Thank God-"

"That bastard is gone!"

Each one of my friends said practically the exact same thing.

My mom ran upstairs.

"Clare?"

"Justice Mom. Fitz confessed." Tears rolled down my cheeks, not of sadness, but hope and joy.

Mom ran over and hugged me. She called Dad and I could picture his face- as if he'd just learned that Christmas was every day and he was 4 years old again. His daughter's almost-rapist and son-in-law's murderer had been caught. Everyone could sleep easier now.

The next morning, at school, word traveled fast.

Mr. Simpson called me into his office, and all of my teachers as well as Eli's teachers were there.

"We are so proud of you, we had no idea, this is hard…all that pity crap, but I grinned when they said it- because it was touching.

I just hoped Eli had gotten the justice he needed. But I knew he still resented Fitz with every fiber in his body, as did I- I couldn't forgive him this time- he'd crossed the line one time too many. I sincerely prayed to God to let Eli enter Heaven…and that way- one day we'd be together again. Eli in limbo forever seemed like such a long time, and it killed both of us. We yearned to be with eachother again.


	13. RIP

I opened the locked door and went into an empty house- the place I called home.

I stumbled in, tired. I wore a fancy, pressed black suit, and I threw my purse lazily to the living room where it landed on a couch and fell flat.

I dragged my feet up the stairs and entered my room. I flumped onto my bed and sighed, content, my hair etching its way onto my face, to poke holes in my vision.

I had been at court all day yesterday. I sat in a large wooden chair and gave my witness to the judge.

Fitz just watched silently from the sidelines, solemn, and he didn't want to look me in the eye. I had started to feel bad these last 2 weeks, and I knew someday, I'd forgive him- it was in my nature, whether I liked it or not.

Everything seemed to be coming together nicely. Fitz was in a lonely, cold prison- locked up for the rest of his life, my friends and family were all there to support me, school was out…I had the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders…it felt free and easy.

As soon as my head hit the pillow, I drifted. But this time, I didn't go into my secret meeting place with Eli in the in-between; he came to me.

"Clare." I turned on my side to face him.

"You're here." I said groggily.

"I am…thanks to you."

"Why?" I asked drowsily, with a smile on my face.

He smirked. I could see that through my half-open eyelids. I missed that smirk…and his hair…and his emerald green eyes…

"You're so cute when you're sleepy…it's like you're drunk."

"I don't drink silly." I smacked him half-heartedly, a smile growing on my lips.

"Well, I'm here, because it's July 1st."

"Oh Eli…does this mean?"

"Yep. No more dream world for me. It's heaven- literally."

"I'm so happy for you." I said, meaning I loved him.

"I love you." He kissed my forehead and my eyes grew heavy once more.

"I know Eli…me too…See you…visit…or something…" My voice trailed off and I fell into a true slumber, the best sleep I'd had in 3 weeks, and Eli smiled once more, then disappeared, to a place where he was safe, and it was a rendezvous for us in the future someday. I smiled in my sleep and couldn't picture anywhere else to be- but with Eli. And I felt as close to him as ever now. And that was perfect.


End file.
